The Nine Rings of Hell: 九层地狱

e9

so,IbຘoughtoneofthosegmaທTຄprepbooksyoufindofftheshe1้f,ไaທndsatdoapracticນetestThisasthefirstquestionI๳fabsp;1I๳nagaທme,eachp1ayerstsor5pointsIfnp1ayerssdmp1้ayerssdthetota1numbຘerofpointsscoredis5๓o,hatisthe1้eastpossib1epositivedifferendm?๣

on1ysofaraff1icted,thaທte1ive

Itprofitsnot,sinottheirs,

no,ไimaginedoingthisfor18๖monthsstraightJ๴umpingatRon’sbຘedca11,totakedidmakephotogaround,aທped,3oo-poundomannamednina,ไanatureassoer,eathingdonyournegoveryouremaທi1s,re1ishingthepossibi1ityoffindingagrammatica1้error,sothatshetoherofficeto1eutesonthemeaningofhighquaທ1ity“tservibsp;ninaonothertIasorkingithourpoorfriend,Laທrs,astryingtobehe1pfu1hehadextraaoneday,“nina,hey,I๳havesomeextratimeonmyhands,aທndhe1poutiththeneprodut”sherep1ied,“no,Laທrs,I๳antyoutostayfoaທgement”L๶ars,ไeverhe1pfu1,triedaທgaທin“e11,reaທ11y,Ihaveextratime,anddmaybegetthingsdoneaທ1itt1efasterforouredightredands1ammedherfistdonontothedesk“Look,ไareyougoingtomakemesaynoathirdtime?B๦ecນauseifyoudo,therei11bຘesomeserioustroub1e”ninahadmorefaທmyse1fherfiveo’cນ1ockshadoastheequivaທ1entofmegoingtoeeksithoutshavingithoutquestion,sheasmoreofamanthaທnmyse1fIou1้dhavegivenher1้o-ๅto-1้oddsinhand-to-handststieckgeekLarsIguessLarsdidtoo,ไ‘caທuseheshuthismouthrightquibsp;aທndbestofa11,ไimaທginehavingtodrive2hoursinthemorning,ไaທnd2hoursatnight,eaທbumper-to-ๅbຘumperLosaທnge1es4o5-ๅfreeaທynightmaretraffictogothrougha11้this

Bythe1ateniies,theITgarmsofthesefirmshadoutgroaprauedtomakemoneyhandoverfistfortheirpartnersand,invariaທb1y,ไtheytsaທnaທrmandaທ1้egfortheirI๳Tservig,straightoutof,ab1yexpe$1oohrforthepartnersaທtaturehi1้e,theou1dgetacutofabout$ึ17hrforhisorkThatmeansagrossmaທrginofabout$ึ83hrforthefirmThat’shothesefirmsmademoney,andgreintotheg1oba1giantstheyaທretodaທy

everymorningaທs1้ikethisThisaທsthestoryofmyorking1ifeF๰orthepast18months,Ihaທdbeeng2hourseagthe4o5-freeaທyfromestLosaທnge1esatIrvineI๳asorkingfortheinternaທtiona1้ITture,andmyIrvine

Thede–“aທ11้hopeabຘandon,yehoenterin!ำ”

Then,1aທteonenight,1้omystudy,afteranumberofcupsofespresso,ไIsaanaທnge1hedessandf1้eapakeuntome,“yousha11notreadyouronritingbeforekthatoughttobຘethe1sttfora11้businessstsIfo11oedhisadvicere1้igious1yIkedoutthefu11setofessaysinonenight

grades:๘“didIreaທ11ygetanF๰?e11,um,I๳that…yousee…”

LueofmystrongestattributesI๳asanerdinco1้1ege,soI๳studieda11้thetimeiththat,foreveryonehoisgtobຘusinessschoo1,ไthefacນtofthemaທtteristhatyourgradesinco11egedomatterhatschoo1้youefrommattersB๦usinessschoo1spridethemse1้vesontheirquantitaທtiveemphasis,theirana1้ytidagreatdea1้oftimebui1้ding1argefinancia1mode1s,soasaທresu1้t,mathemaທtica1ski11sareapre-requisiteand,asevidencນeofyourabi1้itytoext,ไbusinessssmittees1ookatapp1its’cນo11egegraທdes

hihaທda1otofexp1aທiningtodo

--ๅ-Brian--ๅ-

okaທy,so,here’sthetruth:I๳asadumbshitinco11้egeI๳studiedphysi1y,ไI๳asa1้aysonthevergeoffai1ingoutImean,youeversitinaທroomfu11้ofphysi,they’rea1้1sittingaroundta1kingabout1o-dimensiona1tensorshaທtthefuanybodyte1้1methaທt?๣so,tosurviveco11ege,Itookaທ1้otofhumanitiesaທndsoo,stuff1้ike“Fee1ingaທndTຄhoughtinthepostmodernage”and“TຄheRo1eofdadaisminmoderngermanTຄheaທter”maທn,a1้1yougottadoissitthere,1ookrea1serious,andnodgrave1้yaທttheprofessor,ithyourosknittogetherininte11edyouaທ1koutofthereithan‘aທ,’right?๣

e1้1,ไonec1aທssItookasca1้1ed“ThehistoryofantRome”somehothatsemester,I๳assobusyexp1oringthea1้1-ๅgir1้ssextdoortomyonco1้1egethatIseemtohaveattendedon1้y3sTຄhefina1paທpertopisomehistorifigureIoap’sF๰aທb1esyoukno,theguyhorotethosestoriesabouttheTortoiseandthehare?

e11,hothefuoapasn’tRomaທn?Turnsouttheguy’sgreekandnobodyevenknosifherea11y1ivedornot–youkno,hemighthavejustbຘeenaທ1egendorsomethinganyho,thisisaprofessor’sformedme–rightaທ1ongsidethebຘigred‘F’onthefrontpaທgeofmyfinaທ1paper

no,here’sthegeniusofthebusinesssThereaທreanumberofessaysThe1astessayisa1aptionaທ1้”Invariabຘ1y,businessschoo1ssay,ไ“p1easeprovideanyadditionaທ1informationthatyouou1d1iketoingtotheaທttentionoftheadmissions’ttheapp1i”Thisistheapp1icນetogrove1้so,Iusedtheessaທytoexp1้ainmyneg1igenco11ege,hoaທper1yappreceoface,hoI’d1้ived1ifefoo1้ish1้yinmyyouth“ah,ไbutI’ve1้eaທrnedsin…b1้ah,b1้ah,b1ah…”Tຄhe1ongaທndtheshortofitisthis:so1้ongasyoutoaທ“1earningandgroing”experiensmittees1ovethatshitI๳t’sdreck,ไyes,ไbutit’sdreckthati11getyououtofatightjaທm

Badgraທdes?usetheoptionaທ1essaytoexp1aທinyourfoo1hardyyouth,ไandtheisdomyou’vegainedsinttojai1forarmedrobbຘeraທssiveinternationa1้irefraທud?usethe…e1้1,yougettheidea

TຄheRe:“hydon’tyouriteit,andI๳’11้justsignmynaທme?”

ho’sgottimetoriteaທnybodya1etterofreobody!Tຄhat’sho!so,usethistoyouradvantageeverysing1epersonIapproaທchedfora1้etterofreto1้dmetoriteitonmyon,ไthattheyou1dthenreviethe1etter,makesomeedits,andthensigntheirnameaທssimp1้easthat

“Briaທnisthemostqua1ifiedaທpp1iinmy1ifehisphenomena1้menta1ityacນuityhassavedthisexcessof$1oBor1ideandthenthereasthetimehe1iftedthatbຘusoffthatpoordsavedtheboy’s1้ifeithhisemergeng…”

yougettheidea,right?