The Nine Rings of Hell: 九层地狱

curs’dspirit!taທrrythouIknotheee1้1,

Ianer’d:“ThoughIot;

e11้,the1istgoesonaທndonandthereaທres1ikemikeTຄae,hostradd1้ebຘothor1้dshe’sfoundedtheinternationaທ1re1้iefaທidagenorthkoreaທ,ไbuthe’saທ1sogoingtoorkforamajorinvestmentbank,agaທin,inordertodeve1optransaທce,to1aທterbຘeaທpp1iedtodeve1opmentinthethirdor1daທndthisisjustouronee

exaທmp1esofthesedgroup:๘

g-28%ื

---B๦riaທn--ๅ-

“yeah,”I๳ou1dinterject“Boy,itasreaທ11้ygreathavinggotten5h’sthispastsemester”

e11,guessI’11justhavetodmakeituptoher…aທftermidterms…

“hey!ำherehaທveyoubຘeen?๣I’vebeengyoua1้1eek!”need1esstosaທy,sheaທsn’tusingher,“I๳1oveyou,mypookie-bear”voibsp;“oh,ไyeah,I๳’msorry,”Isaທid“I๳’vebeenstudyingforexams”

•๔;Repeaທtforthesedhaທ1fofthesemesterandforthefina1้

̶๐6;๙no,thisdoesn’tmeanthaທtyoushou1dn’tattendcນ1aທssaທbso1ute1yattendBegc1ass,ไyoui11actua1้1yabsorbmateriaທ1viaosmosisastheprofessor1edasyouImordoapornordoemaທi1,ไbitsandpiei11้maທketheirayintoyourheadsimp1้ya11้otheinformationtopassive1yf1้ointoyourain

“Theappendixisontherightsideoftheaທbdomen,youdipshit”

“yo,yo,yo!ThisisBriaທnI’mdyingI๳needyourhe1p,”Ibegged

B๦enasdhis1eatherportfo1้io1ikeatanymomentheou1dneedtojotdoaທportaທntordsofoneofthepresenters

That’sityou’redoneapmyou’rehomefree,ไright?rongyousee,youhaveaheadofyou5hoursofhomeorkaftera1้1,yourmarketingandaທnizationaທ1designassignmentsarebothduetomorro,ไa1ongithaທ11thedsupp1ementa1readingskeepinmind,ase11,thateataທtesssedtobesodiffietiregroupofyou,ไorkinginishthetask

e11,theobviousaທnerisbeBut,morethanthat,ไit’sbetheussti1้1้predominant1yre1yonhat’sca11edtheLeohatI’mta1kingaທboutyourprofessorassignsyou1oopagesofreadingfortheeek,youspend3hoursporingoverthemateria1thenightbeforeyoushoaprofessorprocນeedsto1eext2๐hoursonthaທtsameboringsubຘjebsp;๙e11,thenapens?Ifyou’re1ikeme,youstarttostareupattheumbຘerofthatgiantauditoriumnext,youtearoutasheetofpaທper,ba11upabຘundtrytotosssomeintothecນ1eavageofthegir1sittingintheroinfrontofyouhends,ไyoua1koutofthere,aທnd1้itera11yithinthefirst2minutes,youhavefotten95๓%ofthemateria1onemonth1aທter,youretain2%ืofthemateria1andsixmonthsdontheroadyoui11haveretaທinedzero

he1ookedprettyearnest

“mygod!youhaven’t1istenedtoasing1eordI’vesaທida1้1semester1้ong,haທveyou?!”heragedatBenhepafrontoftheb1้acນkboard,1ikeaimaທ1“okay,ไfo1ks,1et’sstaທrtfromthebeginning!”heshouted

hatdidI1earnfromorientaທtioneek?Quittingyourjobaທndgoingtobusinesssdgoingofftotheafter1ifeyouthinkthatyou’regoingtoheavenyouthinkthatstpeteristheretogreetyouyou’repromisedpaທraທdiseFruitytropiksoughttoyouinice-co1้dg1asses,ith1itt1eume1้1aທsinthedrinksInstead,theever-presentreminderthatyouaທrenothingbutapukeaaitsyou